The life we are living

Picture this. You are from a foreign land. You visit India for the first time. What do you see?

Filth, Pollution, Slums, A system in chaos and probably a “few” nice people. The nice people are nicer if you are a gora, in other words a lot of Indians I have seen are what I’d like to call gora ka ghulams!

Now with all of the filth and the pollution and the chaos stands out one statistic that will stun you. India is the 12^th largest economy in the world. So out of about 195 countries India has the 12^th LARGEST ECONOMY. An astounding statistic considering the fact a lot of fucking money is stashed away in the Swiss bank.

Now what generally comes to my mind is, ok, so the 12^th largest economy in the world suffers from poverty, corruption, illiteracy and many other such atrocities.

Think about from a different angle. When you pay a certain amount of money to someone, you expect something in return and you expect that the money you have spent is worth it. So when you the pay the government, which I would say is quite a hefty amount, why is it that we get horse shit in return, and what’s worse, we choose to do nothing about it. The government can wank all it wants and we will go around picking up their shit.

So, technically we are paying the government for unclean roads, a bad public transportation system, a fucked up and corrupt system. With such a “good” economy, plus the fact that zillions of dollars is stashed away in the Swiss bank.  Fact of the matter is, if the money paid to the government were to be put to good use, then, salaries would be way higher, inflation wouldn’t be such a bitch, cleaner roads would exist, a more organized system and a better country overall would have been a reality.

So life as we know it, is quite fucked, added to that, our country’s democracy does a pretty good job at fucking us up even more. Anyone who stands up or speaks against the system is silenced.  Our country is run by shitheads and we can’t do jack squat. Such are our lives.

The Reservations

So, let me get this straight. If you are an SC/ST/OBC or whatever you don’t have brains and you are born completely retarded and probably have an IQ of minus 10.

I don’t get this reservation bullshit. I am not against SC/ST etc. I have friends and believe me; I am talking about real good friends who are SC/ST. I even have a friend who is from a backward caste and gave his entrance exams as a part of the general quota. That is astounding.

Ok, so you may say that you don’t have the resources and the money blah blah. Don’t ask for quotas, ask for opportunities that create knowledge resources free of cost or something. Better and cheaper education, more opportunities to learn and work hard etc. Why the fuck would you want quotas. This kind of shit cements the fact that you are born retards.

Religion

This I love talking about. This is what the modern day interpretation of religion is – Fuck this shit, let’s kill one another, let’s bomb places, hurt innocent people. Hold all sorts of rallies and ridiculous rituals to show our love for religion. I don’t fucking get it. So you are a Hindu, Muslim, Christian blah blah. None of your religion teaches you to fuck with other people’s lives. Fine, you believe in god and your gung ho about faith etc. Don’t rub that on others faces. You have beliefs, good. Others too have their own. STOP FUCKING WITH THEM. Stop killing people, stop being so indifferent. 

Culture

This is one thing that seriously confuses the living daylights out of me.  There was this quote I read on the internet, which made complete sense. “In India you cannot kiss in public, but you can piss in public”. The whole idea of beating up couples and other bullshit is beyond me. Sure, after a point of time watching couples coochie cooing in public can get disgusting, but come on, beating them up and claiming it’s not a part of our Hindu culture. Visit a lot of these famous temples and you’ll definitely notice the “gods” in supremely sleazy positions, not to mention they are pretty much naked. We are from the land of kamasutra for crying out loud, and you go ahead beating couples and censoring kissing scenes in movies and television because our culture says otherwise. And before you make all such statements and do shit in public, there is one thing I’d like to point out. Indians are a bunch of horny bastards. ALWAYS remember this.

All in all this sums my opinion about the shit that we are put through in our own homeland. This shit needs to stop, we all deserve better lives than what we are leading right now.

Hot women dating Ugly men ... The True Story!!!

Most if not all women will find this offensive, its just an observation, dont go bonkers!

Also, ALL women will disagree to this. Again, its just an observation, please dont go bonkers!!!

Now.. I am sure that all of us have noticed some othe hottest of women with the ugliest of men and its always got us wondering....I'll speak of two incidents... the 1st incident was when I first noticed this phenomenon and that got me interested in actually knowing the true story behind "Langoor ke haath mein angoor" or in some cases "Holy hell, how the fuck did he land up with a rollicking woman like her!"
Well, the second incident prompted me to write this!

Now, to the incident, I was sitting at some silly restaurant with a friend of mine (way back in 2001), when I noticed this guy, about 5'2", dark, fat and ugly, with a bombshell, about 5'6" fair and super hot!!!!!
Made me wonder to how someone like him could get a woman like her.
The second incident happened a couple of days back. I was in Madrid (Yes I was in spain, eat shit!), visiting the bullring, where I happened to see this super duper amazing spanish woman with bedazzling eyes and a beguiling body, with a guy who probably looked more ugly than your grandfather's ass.
I was stunned, pure fuckin stunned!!!!!

Now, for the research and its analysis:

(I have actually asked around women, about this)

Now, when you ask these women, as to why they are dating that ugly piece of crap (This I used only with my close friends) or in simpler terms, "What a cute couple you guys make" and then this leads on to why they are dating each other etc. the answer is fairly simple.
In case of a close friend, she'll reply : Oh, he's so sweet and I love him so much and he'd do anything for me and he loves me so much,he is so kind blah blah blah!!!!
In case of a not so close friend... well.... the answer remains the same ....

Pure fuckin bullshit you stupid,selfish,cunning bitches..... pure fuckin bullshit!!!

Well, the truth, and I'm so sure that most if not all women will disagree to this, but anyway.....

A hotter woman can trample over the uglier man any way they feel like. Yea he's sweet and nice and caring...BUT BUT BUT.... he is ugly and short and fat, and chances of him landing a bombshell are the same as enrique iglesias not whining in his videos or, britney spears being a virgin... well you get the point!
He's short, probably fat and ugly as hell, and he landed a bombshell, he better fuckin be sweet and he better be nice and let you trample all over him!!!

Now the other side....

Two sides to a coin remember ....

Well. the other side.... if the man is loaded with so much money that you, your kids and your grandkids can retire at the age of 30. Oh hell yes..... its the money that a lot of women are attracted to, the more the money, the better the chances of the guy landing a hotter chick.....

This applies only to dating.... Dont know about marriage.. havent really worked on that area....

So yeahhh.. the ugly truth... you hot women will date these shitty men so you can trample all over them or if they have the money.. and while they are doing nice things for you... you probably would be sticking down your tongue in some other guys throat.....

Cheating On your Partner : A different perspective

Most of us have definitely known someone (including self) who has cheated. The first thought that comes to mind naturally when you learn of someone cheating is : "What a bastard/bitch". Of what I have learnt in the past few months I have come to a very different conclusion rather that the usual bastard/bitch theory. The common conventional wisdom about people who cheat is this : He/she needs variety or he/she is bored, or he/she is just a male/female whore. If you think about it, majority of the people cheat just because they get cheap thrills out of it.What I would like to call it : Personality flaw. A lot of people I asked (Yes I know a lot of people who cheat) were not really bored of their relationship, nor were they mentally disturbed. It then got kinda obvious that they do it for pure cheap thrills. Its this "cheap thrill" genome in them that causes them to cheat and flit from one flower to another like a butterfly. A certain couple I know of, have been together for close to 8 years. The amount of times they have cheated on each other is staggering. Ironically, when they are together, they look like one of the best couples you may have ever seen. Another person I know of has been in a relationship for around three and a half years. He has cheated quite a few times. When I asked him to why he did it, his answer was : "Dude, there is too much of an onus in a relationship, I need to get in touch with my wild side once in a while, which is why I cheat". He also continued to add " But I do love my girlfriend a lot and I intend to marry her." Of course there were a few who were actually mentally disturbed (Some I think even mentally disabled, for the fact that they had EXTREMELY hot and loving girlfriends).

Now reading this, a lot of people wonder, is this personality flaw permanent. The answer is surprisingly, no. A few "cheaters" I know off have shun the personality flaw. How they did it was simple. They forced themselves into staying loyal. No matter what they kept telling themselves "I will not cheat". Every-time you have the urge to cheat, take this advice : Wank/shag/Khud khushi/Masturbate. Resist this urge and you will be happier.

Trust me on this ;)

Dreams, Ambitions and how being an Indian can ruin those dreams!!!!!

As a child I have always wanted to be an entertainer. I still remember the time when in fourth grade, my class teacher asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up. My answer then : A Cricketer. Few years down the line (Somewhere along the ninth grade I think) we were asked to write an essay on our ambitions. I wrote an essay on how I wanted to become an actor as good as Jim carrey so I could make people laugh. Then came along music. I felt a complete sense of satisfaction. All through the years though my so called "occupations" changed but at the end all i wanted to was make people happy and entertain them.
Amongst the millions and zillions of Indians, I am pretty sure I am not the only one. Also I do have a few friends who are in the same boat.
We have heard of people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs making it big, though they were not really academically inclined nor did they have an awesome degree to their names.
Being an Indian is a different thing altogether. You have a small little dream, you get excited discuss it among your friends, your family etc and then a person shall come who shall pee all over the dreams and send you back to "Chasing the Great Indian Dream".
All throughout our lives we have heard the term " rat race" quite a few times. Parents, friends ranting about how its a rat race and winning is so important to be successful. Unfortunately it ain't a rat race here in India, its more of a crab race amongst a bucket of crabs. You may be good enough to win a rat race but a crab race .. you may want to think again. One crab goes up putting in all efforts only to be pulled down by another crab, so not only you are racing, but you'll need eyes at the back of your head to see who is on the verge of stabbing you.
The criteria for participating in the crab race takes into account the number of degrees you have, what quality these degrees have. Though there is only one criteria for winning the crab race. You need to be a brilliant political bitch (If you know what I am saying).So bad it is now a days that even a creative needs to have an MBA degree to be amongst the top contenders of the crab race.
Most Indian kids' fates are decided by their parents and relatives. The kind of education , the kind of friends, the kind of clothes, the kind of wife and as far as the names of the future kids!!!!
Most middle class Indian kids straying away from the "path of success" set by their parents/relatives, are struck by the unrelenting wrath of the parents/relatives. What makes it even worse is that the poor kid is not allowed to work his way to getting to his dream. Odd jobs like working at a call center, or doing a waiters job at a local restaurant apparently tend to "demean" the family. Majority middle class Indians feel these odd jobs are only for the cheap lower class... sad isn't it?
According to most elders, the only way you can achieve success in India is by having a kick ass set of degrees(In most cases the "MBA"). For instance, I was giving the CAT in December 2009, a person who sat next to me said : Dude, I am just 21, I just completed graduation, and I have been placed. But my parents are forcing me to give the CAT and do an MBA first!!!.... What the hell!?
It just keeps getting worse. Even banks are ruthless. When I approached a few banks for a loan to pursue my music, they either rejected my loan application claiming music is not "education" or they agreed to the loan application by slapping a huge rate of interest!
Are degrees the only way you can be successful in the country?? Satisfaction of life, happiness does not count  does it?
This country seriously needs a new ray of light. Indians need to open up more, they need to see beyond academics, money etc. Indians need to know working odd jobs doesn't demean the family. The thinking of the society needs to change and needs to change fast!!!

Hopefully it happens, before the country actually goes to the dogs!

Why do men need to watch pornography even after being in serious relationships!!!!!

Before going ahead with this article, I would like to warn the narrow minded woman : You may suffer from a heart attack while reading this!
OK .. getting back to the topic ...
Face it. Men are blokes/dogs/swines/perverts!. Left to us we'd go and hump even lamp posts when in dire need. This is true for all men, no matter how much a man may be in love with a woman he still has the roving eye for other hot women. Porn plays substitute to men who are committed and refrain from cheating behind their girl's backs (Its true .. no point in self denial). Amongst the people I know, there have been quite a few cases where the girl has walked into her boyfriends room to find him watching a porno flick.
Scientifically speaking women are supposed to have a higher sex drive compared to that of men. That still doesn't stop men from watching the occasional Jenna Jameson flick.(*Jenna Jameson : The goddess of all porn stars :P). No matter how frequently a man has sex in the week, there is still a slight craving that tempts a man to go watch his favorite porno flick.(This mostly happens when women are out shopping or beautifying themselves)
I mean come on .. why cant women cut  men some slack. They don't cheat and therefore substitute it with porno. A very big misconception amongst a lot of women is that they start feeling inferior or less loved when its porno time for men!!!! GET IT OUT!!!! There is nothing wrong with you, nor there is anything wrong with your guy. In fact if he does not watch porn I'd say there is something definitely wrong with him!
Women need to know, the only things that keep a man happy (other than money and food) are women and sex! Now it does not mean that your guy is liable to get attracted to the next hot, big busted woman he sets his eye on! Women who are super hot and big busted are only good to look at (or have a 1 night stand when single). So women don't really have to worry about a hot ass, dirty talking, big busted woman in porno flicks.

To all the women out there : Don't bother yourself too much when it comes to your guy watching porn(unless its gay porn of course .. You'll then  need to dump him before he hits on your father or brother)

So.. Go ahead .. encourage your guy to watch porn .. in fact watch it with him .. It may have a harder impact on you than him ;)

Piccadilly - Food Review

Location : Colaba Causeway

While hunting for a food joint at colaba (other that Monde's, Leo's or Churchill), I came across Piccadilly, a restaurant which serves Lebanese and Iranian food. A nice quite place with an AC seating on top.
There were nice Iranian paintings on the windows.
I was with two other people. We ordered a Non veg Cocktail meal(Chicken), and a mixed veg. roll.
The Non veg cocktail meal was served with all the different kinds of Lebanese style cooked chicken with hummus, fries and 6 pieces of khaboos(Pita Bread).
The quantity of the dish was enough to fill two people up.The chicken was well cooked and well served.The addition of khaboos and hummus made it even more delicious.The fries were a little salty though.
The mixed veg. roll had a lot of mayonnaise, assorted vegetables wrapped inside khaboos and was also served with hummus.The roll was nice and filling.
For dessert we ordered a caramel custard and a Chocolate brownie.
The caramel custard felt more like caramel mousse. It was very creamy rather than being jelly.I did not fancy the custard too much.
The brownie, well, as good and delicious as any other brownie, nothing really that blew my taste buds.
The bill came out to Rs.370 which was pretty decent since it did fill three people up.

Overall: A better ambience could have made the place look better. The food was pretty good, nothing out of the ordinary.The Lebanese food kicks major ass.

Rating : 3/5

Prem Joshua - Dance Of Shakti : Music review

Genre: World Music, Fusion

Prem Joshua is a Multi Instrumentalist and Composer.
He has 14 albums to his credit and is one of the most talented musicians I have heard so far.

His album: Dance of Shakti comprises of 6 tracks.

1.Bolo Hari(6:48): The track opens with a very rural India feel to it, with children playing on the streets.The song is centered around the famous Indian bhajan- Govinda bolo hari gopala bolo.The bass and percussion's slowly start to kick into the song.For the initial half of the song there is a feeling of peace and harmony.The interlude starts with a flautist playing a beautiful melody while the sound of the percussion's lighten up.The song then goes back uptempo for about a minute and then again is followed by a beautiful melody played by the flautist.Now starts the fun .... the track gets really groovy now...house beats introduced with govinda bolo hari still being sung in the background accompanied by melodically brilliant saxophone lines.
The last two-three minutes are quite tantalizing, least said, with a man speaking out shlokas while rest of the instruments lay low, and the song then jumps back to its original groovy self.

2.Mangalam(9:11): Starts with a dilruba(yes a dilruba) playing while smooth backwater accompanying the sound.The bass kicks in first followed by the tabla and other percussion instruments.An alap is being sung in the background while music is played on.A beautiful track to listen to.The meaning of mangalam is : A sacred song. This song does sound sacred for a fact.The way each instrument blends into another is utter brilliance, musicianship at its best.A flute solo,sitars playing the same lines as vocals and some awesome delay and fade always added here and there,lead guitars playing around with track, the song is woven together by different instruments to give it a very psychedelic feel.

3.Secret Place(9:56): A very calming sitar intro.All you need to do is close your eyes , go to your favorite place and let the song take you there, show you the beauty of your favorite place, yes, the song speaks for itself.Words will not explain the beauty of this song, listen to it to understand the beauty of this song!

4.Himalaya Trance(10:27): The minute you start listening to this song, all you ll feel are the Himalaya's, the chilly weather, the beautiful breeze, the stories the mountains are telling you.Very slow to open with and then gets into an unimaginably good groove.The one brilliant thing I noticed about the song was, somewhere half way, there's an almost deafening silence, no instrument, only a little choir and a swell effect can be heard,its like you are hearing the mountain winds again.The song then transits into another completely level, more uptempo, taal's sung at quite a speed and again after a while the same deafening silence with a few effects and back to uptempo again! The song ends with Himalaya's speaking to you.

5.Nanak(10:02): A very relaxing song.Nice vocal melody and nice ambience to it.The song gets monotonous after a while. Being a 10 minute song its the same thing that keeps happening over and over again. Even a beautiful song can turn boring! The song could have been better if it were shorter and had more elements like the previous songs.

6.The Dance of Kali(8:31): This song will definitely make the great Kali dance! Beautifully phrased song, probably the most meaningful song on the album.A very enchanting song, though it also gets slightly repetitive but it definitely takes you to a high of a different kind.If your parents are serious followers of the hindu religion, make them listen to it. They'll be proud of you ;)

P.S: A joint will amplify the effect of the album! ;)

Overall: Good album but could have cut some songs short and at times there is a bit of monotonicity in the songs, but good album nonetheless.

Rating: 3/5

12 Angry Men - Review

Cast: Henry Fonda, Martin Balsam, Jack Warden

A young 18 year old boy is in trial for the murder of his father.
The conclusion of him being guilty or not lies in the hands of 12 jurors.If he is found guilty he is sent to the chair, if not he walks free.
Typical courtroom drama......NOT!!!!!!!
The storyline focuses on the 12 jurors throughout the movie(except the initial scene where the end of the trial is being shown).
When the jurors sit together after the trial to decide the fate of the young boy, all but one certain Mr.Davis(Henry Fonda) find him guilty.
What seems like a boring movie in the initial 5 minutes of the movie starts to get interesting when Mr.Davis puts across his arguments to support his cause.He finds loopholes in the evidences given by the key witnesses in the trial.
The movie as a whole shows human nature amongst 12 people sitting in one room discussing the case.Every type of a human being is described within these 12 people, right from the selfish ones, to the frustrated ones to the extremely dumb ones to the calmer ones.
When Mr.Davis puts across his argument as not guilty and starts to make a mockery of the evidence given by the key witnesses, you'll start to feel if Davis is correct and when the other jurors who think otherwise put across their statements you'll start to feel if Davis is being wrong.Almost throughout the movie, you'll be continuously thinking. 
Each character in the movie has played his part to the fullest.The performances of each actor was par excellence.
The storyline is superb and during the whole movie only 1 set was used......Yes only 1 set!
The movie showcases how anger,frustration or a calm mind can change a human being's perception about the way he sees things around him.
P.S: This movie is in Black and White.The movie released in 1957!

Overall : No guns, no shooting, no fast cars, no villains,no superman stunts, yet the movie will enthrall you and keep you at the edge of your seat.

Rating: 4.5/5

The Ugly truth - review

Cast: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Bree Turner, Eric Winter

Abby Richter(Katherine Heigl) is a successful TV producer who also happens to be a typical control freak.
On the occasional date she would carry a list of "10 things she wanted in a man" .
Mike Chadway(Gerard Butler) plays a host to the TV show "The Ugly Truth" which reveals the darker and the true side of men.
All hell breaks loose when Mike Chadway is hired at the same TV channel where Abby works.
She cant stand his guts, he(like all men) cant stand a control freak.
The first half is hilarious.Total Rib tickling comedy, Typical battle of the sexes.
The chemistry between Mike and Abby gets better when Mike helps Abby out, so she can date her hot neighbor Colin Anderson(Eric Winter).
The 2nd half turns into a typical romantic sappy comedy, where Mike realizes he has feelings for Abby, and gets jealous whenever he sees Colin with Abby.
The storyline gets typical in the 2nd half of the movie.

Overall : A good watch, One of the better chick flicks I have watched.
Rating : 2.5/5